I’m terrible at sticking to resolutions. So terrible in fact, that I no longer make them. But maybe this year can be different? I’d love it if just about everything in 2021 was different than 2020, so maybe a few resolutions are in order. But after the year we’ve had, I think it’s time to make resolutions about things that we WANT to do rather than ones about stopping things we think are bad for us. This article by Arthur C. Brooks in The Atlantic, says that when we make resolutions, the thing we are almost always trying to improve is our happiness. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/12/new-years-resolutions-will-make-you-happier/617439/
The reason many resolutions fail is that we discover striving for that one thing– weight loss, a daily workout routine, eating whole foods doesn’t actually make us happy. Most of our resolutions can be good things to strive for as part of the overall goal of improving our lives, but many of these things need not be goals in and of themselves if being more content is really what we want. This article speaks of setting resolutions around goals such as forgiveness and practicing mindful gratitude. Focusing on what has gone right rather than dwelling on what has gone wrong, and giving people the gift of forgiveness (whether they asked for it or not), with the main purpose of gaining peace for ourselves. Sound like a selfish reason to offer forgiveness? That’s ok! We all deserve a little self-love and to put ourselves and our mental health first sometimes.
I like that broader idea of setting resolutions around things that promote self-care such as gratitude and forgiveness, but those can be a little abstract for me. I need some concrete resolutions that I can cross off my list. Things like make one new recipe every month, try a new local restaurant for carryout once a month, try to spend 15 minutes in nature every day (even if it’s just a walk around the block), take a nap on your day off, and actually use all those fancy bath bombs that you got in your stocking. And of course, the best kind of concrete resolutions for many of us involve reading. I’m setting a challenge for myself of two books a month-one that is new and the other that is something I’ve always wanted to read but haven’t gotten around to yet. So often books get pushed down my list by newer ones until they fall off altogether. At the end of this post are a few titles that I’d like to try.
It is a lot more fun setting resolutions around things that you actually want to do rather than things “that would be good for you.” Give it a try, but remember the most important part- your goal in setting these is to improve your happiness and quality of life- so be kind! If you don’t manage to do all the things you decided on, it’s ok. So, skip that one and catch it next time–your resolutions are yours alone, and since they focus on things that bring you joy, you can have all the time in the world to complete them. 🙂